Thursday, May 25, 2006

Let Them Eat Cupcakes !

  • Scotch Plains, NJ is not far from here. But, far enough away, I hope, that the Board of Education in my town does not get any ideas. I mean, can't a few things about childhood -- even in this stressed-out, overscheduled, linked-up, crazy world of ours -- be simple, uncomplicated, fun and sweet? Like a birthday cupcake.

    Apparently, the Board of Education in Scotch Plains doesn't think so. They are contemplating outlawing birthday cupcakes in the classroom. Why? They're unhealthy. They're bad for kids with allergies. They're too expensive for some families. But mostly, they're unhealthy. OK, but first, let's review.

    Let's talk about "hot lunch." You know, where they serve those nitrate-laden hot dogs and greasy pizza and fried chicken strips and no-whole-grain-anything bagels and full-fat cream cheese, shall we?
    Let's talk about how teachers, from kindergarten through 12th grade, ply students with bribes of hard candy and candy bars.
    Let's talk about principals who keep buckets of lolandops adn Twizzlers on their desks.
    Let's talk about school fundraisers hawking high-end chocolate by the pound, tubs of processed artificially-flavored cookie dough, slabs of frozen (alleged) pizzas, frozen cheesecakes in 11 varieties, and bake sales up the hee-haa.
    Let's talk about selling artificially flavored, artificially colored, preservative-rich ice cream at lunch.
    Let's talk about candycanes and chocolate eggs and candycorn and sugar hearts that arrive home in backpacks at times of the year that we are no longer even allowed to name.

    When we have finished talking about all of that, and about how all of that will have to be banned as well, then we can discuss cupcakes.

    Till then, board members, go suck on a soy nut.


Anonymous said...

Hahaha I love your post on this subject. I feel the same way. I know the schools want our kids to eat healthy but they need to look at what is being sold at the schools and what is being sold FOR the school.

Thanks for the comments on my blog. You have a great sense of humor and I will continue to read your blog in the future.

Mary Tsao said...

Great rant! And oh so true...

Ebun said...

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Tara said...

hey there! i found your blog through the hip mom's blog thing and anyway, when i read this, i wanted to comment. i live in texas and am a former kindergarten teacher, now sahm. we had the "foods of minimal nutrition" ban policy that i was lucky enough to explain to a room full of excited, nervous parents on meet the teacher night, even though i just heard about it myself (fun!) basically, here, you (as in teachers, parents, school administraters, anyone) can't pass out any sort of candy/cupcake/cookie except during the three party days scheduled during the school year (at first it was never, then after someone threw a fit, it was allowed at the parties. fyi, i taught in the school district that got sued by a child who was told he couldn't pass out candy canes with a message about jesus on it at the "winter party"). yet, your child, even a kindergartener, can bring 75 cents for some nasty frozen flavored ice from the ice cream machine to follow their barely touched "chicken" nuggets, buttery corn and breaded veggie sticks. completely ridiculous! at lunch duty, i called myself the food police and wouldn't let kids buy any ice cream unless they had actually eaten most of their real food.
sorry this is so long, but just wanted to let you know that the hypocrisy is alive and well here in texas :)